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| You Are At : Jokes Home : Funny Guides : Mother's dictionary |
Bottle feeding : An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense : What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.
Drooling : How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter : One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning : The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback : The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name : What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents : The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay : What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable : A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent : How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look out : What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Prenatal : When your life was still somewhat your own.
Preprared childbirth : A contradiction in terms.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off : A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize : What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom : The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
Temper tantrums : What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Top bunk : Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning : When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal : Able to whine in words
Whodunit : None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops : An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
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