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| You Are At : Jokes Home : Military Jokes : Bin Laden's To-Do List |
Return Hitler's Mein Kampf to the library. "What a wimp."
Paint apartment in town. Remember to take down and save Charlie Manson's poster. "Helter Skelter.... OK, there are a few good Americans."
Cancel subscription to Terrorist Monthly, Islamic edition. "That Soldier of Fortune rag is for wussies."
Command my operatives (in secure channels) to give up that 'purple dinosaur' thing in America, it isn't subverting the country as I had planned.
Verify $11 million in life insurance policies, with American Casualties, on 2 of my wives. Tell them I'm going camping.
Remember to give family my new P. O. box. (to forward my allowance) Being an unemployed playboy terrorist can be a tough life.
Trade in my magic carpet for a Honda Accord. Those Japanese DO make a good set o' wheels!
Hold yard sale. Available: 4 AK-47 assault rifles in good condition. 400 lbs of Ammonium nitrate fertilizer. (It was for the lawn) Blueprints for Bangor Submarine base.
Burn that 'bachelor party' video featuring Saddam's ugly half-sister.
Buy a Castro Halloween mask early, so I can sneak across the border. Nobody will be looking for HIM here. As a backup, I could use a Jesse Jackson costume and pretend I was 'negotiating' with the Taliban!
Look up and save Johnnie Cochran's phone number just in case I DO get caught.......
And pray to Allah that I don't get Yugoslav Ex-President Slobodan Milosevic as a cell-mate. I'm told he doesn't like Muslims!
Copyright © J. Patterson. Used With Permission
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