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| You Are At : Jokes Home : One Liners : Sample Autumn Comedy |
Artists
Have you noticed? Sometimes his guitar sounds like an electric alley cat in heat.
Autumn
Autumn is a season for big decisions like whether or not it's too late to start spring cleaning.
Baseball
Boy, do I hate to see the baseball season end. There's nothing left on TV for the sports fan except football, basketball, golf, tennis, boxing, track, horse racing, hockey, arm wrestling, chicken flying, and the Battle of the Network Sports Promos.
Boss
The boss's secretary takes up a collection every week. There's the coffee fund, the birthday fund, the flower fund, and the big one -- the fund to keep her mouth shut.
Christmas
When I was a kid Santa never came to our home. Probably because we lived in a '76 Plymouth with no chimney.
Closing Lines
Porpoises on today's show were cleaned with Formula 409 All-Porpoise Cleaner. Use 409 for porpoises so clean you can see yourself.
Football
Back home the football games were so boring, everybody went to the restroom during the 2nd quarter so they wouldn't miss half-time.
Halloween
Halloween, when things go bump in the night. In my neighborhood things go bump in broad daylight. The broads go bump in the night.
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