|
|
| You Are At : Jokes Home : One Liners : More George Carlin |
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
|
|
|
|
|
