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| You Are At : Jokes Home : One Liners : Marriage |
I'm not the kind-of guy who objects to Mrs JimJr having the last word.
I'd just wish to hell she'd get to it !
I'll have to admit the first part of my marriage was happy.
But then, on the way from the ceremony to the reception ...
Any man who thinks marriage is a 50/50 proposition proves that:
Either he knows nothing at all about percentages, (or)
he's got an awful lot to learn about both women and marriage.
It's really a wonder Mrs JimJr and I ever got together in the first place.
She swore she would never marry me when I was drunk, and
I wouldn't dream of marrying her when I was sober.
Mrs JimJr sez that I'm too extravagant; that if anything ever happens to her,
I'll have to beg. I told her I'd be fine.
I mean -- look at all the experience I've got.
I'm not saying Mrs JimJr talks too much or anything,
But she uses a special SPF 30 sunblock for her tongue.
At bedtime, when Mrs JiMjr asks "Is everything shut-up for the night ?"
I always patiently reply, "Everything 'else' is, dear."
Mrs JimJr hasn't been feeling all that well lately.
Something she agreed with is eating her.
Mrs JimJr claims her car is so old,
that the fenders aren't dented -- they're wrinkled !
When I married Mrs JimJr, she had a real hourglass figure.
The sands of time have pretty much taken care of that though.
I couldn't have been happier when Mrs JimJr became a "libber"
Now, she complains about all men and not just me
Mrs JimJr knows how to make my long stories short --
She interrupts
Mrs JimJr always keeps a bowl of wax fruit around,
even though neither of us knows any mannequins.
I'm not saying Mrs JimJr's a bad cook exactly
but we have a complete set of soup knives.
A friend asked Mrs JimJr if I was hard to please
She replied, "Don't know. Never tried."
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